When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
They said the baby looked like me. Until they turned him the right way up.
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!