Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote:
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Vote:
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother.
Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?"
Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210."
Johnny: ...
Vote:
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement.
He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections.
One night they went to a party.
He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?"
Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do."
First boy: "What's a witch do?"
Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right."
"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."
"Well, today is his birthday."
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."