What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer? A: They never get old.
Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."