Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds? A: Because there are twenty of them!
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
They said the baby looked like me. Until they turned him the right way up.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot.
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.