The best kids jokes

Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 29.97 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Q:How does a bear start a race? A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
Vote: has 28.62 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A local charity organization realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the donation seeker mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The person coming for donation began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The person who came asking for donation felt completely humiliated and said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don`t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, kids, lawyer, medical, money
Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry? A: Booger King!!!
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, kids, men, women
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money