Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Vote:
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry?
A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Q: In which room we cannot live?
A: Mushroom.
Q: How did the sand get wet?
A: The sea weed!
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident.
"Douchebag!" the father yells.
A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son.
"Your father just said a bad word," he says.
"I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?"
His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."