The best kids jokes

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Vote:
has 75.94 % from 586 votes. More jokes about: kids
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
Vote:
has 75.91 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor?" "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
Vote:
has 75.90 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: kids
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
Vote:
has 75.77 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, family, kids, technology
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
Vote:
has 75.65 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Vote:
has 75.58 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, kids, wife
Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, sport, Yo mama
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
Vote:
has 75.37 % from 684 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday. She opened it up and it was a tea pot. She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea pot." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."
Vote:
has 75.24 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids
<<<10111213
More jokes →
Page 10 of 53.