The best jokes about life

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life
Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife? A: Meet Patty.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city." "Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!" "That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, work
Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
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has 75.97 % from 395 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, women
If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction...
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
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has 75.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: christian, church, god, life, priest
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