The best jokes about life

The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.
Vote: has 75.86 % from 203 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, music
Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
Vote: has 75.74 % from 369 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, sex, women
Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
Vote: has 75.73 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror. “How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer. “Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car. “Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer. “Wait’ll my family finds out.” “Where’s your family?” “They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
A man was strolling along a beach in California. On giving the sand a kick he struck a corked bottle. He bent down, picked it up and removed the cork. Immediately, a Genie came out of the bottle and said to him, "Master, I have been a prisoner in this bottle for a thousand years and now you have set me free. For that, I will grant you one wish." The man thought for a moment then said, "I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly and I get sick on a ship. Could you build a highway from California to Hawaii?" "Master, that is a difficult wish to fulfill. Can you think of something that is more practical?" The man thought for a moment and said, "Could you tell me why women are the way they are?" The Genie thought for a moment before replying, "Would that be two lanes or four?"
Vote: has 75.65 % from 84 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: genie, life, prison, time
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Vote: has 75.63 % from 108 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, husband, life, marriage, sex
Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things. Doctor: Since when did you have these problems? Patient: What problems?
Vote: has 75.60 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden." The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
Vote: has 75.60 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, life, money, prison, wife


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