The best jokes about life

Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, wife
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: christian, church, god, life, priest
Life is like a box of chocolate. It doesn't last long for fat people.
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: food, life, technology
By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dad, death, Fathers day, life
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack. "How did that happen?" asks the first guy. "Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot." "Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: death, health, heaven, life, wife
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