The best jokes about life

When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, wife
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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has 75.97 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, church, life, time, wife
Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
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has 75.97 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: life
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: athlete, life
How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!
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has 75.78 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: life, mexican, work
Life is like a box of chocolate. It doesn't last long for fat people.
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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has 75.69 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
Englishman, Scottish man and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day. They meet up at end of day and Englishman has sold 2, Scottish man had sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says hhhee hhhee hhhad sssold ssssixty. The other two asked how did he do it. He said, "Wwwhen Iiiii nnnnnnknock aaaat thththe ddddooor I said: Do you wwwwwant tto bbbuy a bbbbbible ooooorrr shshshould Iiii jjjust rrrread it tttto yyyyou?"
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, life
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "Well, do you have any dates?" And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"
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has 75.57 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dating, life
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