The best jokes about life

Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: life, love, math, nerd
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't had one. Never." "Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, stupid
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: life
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing. After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me." The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone. Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!" The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: catholic, death, life, music, party
"Hey what's up?" "Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide." "How the hell do you do that?!" "Breathing... Dude."
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has 70.97 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: life
Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ? Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: god, life, women
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, school
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
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