The best jokes about life

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
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More jokes about: doctor, life
"Hey what's up?" "Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide." "How the hell do you do that?!" "Breathing... Dude."
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More jokes about: life
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.90 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, life, love, money, wife
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food, life
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.
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More jokes about: god, life, music, religious
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, school
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
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More jokes about: life
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish, life


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