The best jokes about life

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, life, political, school
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, school
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
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More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, hospital, life, tax
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?" My simple answer is: It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: internet, life
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope? A:Just skip it.
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More jokes about: life
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
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More jokes about: life


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