The best jokes about life

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, heaven, life, political
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, life, tax
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life, political
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France. Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!" Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!" Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy." Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, political, travel
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, women
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
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