The best jokes about life

A milkman gets an order for 45 pints of milk. Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake. When he knocks on the door, a woman comes out wearing just a bath towel, and she confirms that she wants 45 pints. "Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman. "Oh, OK," replies the milkman. "Do you need it pasteurized then?" "No," says the woman. "Up to my tits will be fine."
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More jokes about: life
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
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More jokes about: celebrity, life
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
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More jokes about: animal, dog, lawyer, life
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
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More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Doc, I think I need to wear glasses Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.
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More jokes about: life
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
Vote: has 69.22 % from 73 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time


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