The best jokes about life

Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, life
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: hipster, life, work
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?". "No," she replies, "You just happened to catch my eye."
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has 68.29 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: ginger, life, money, women
10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this now. 2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 10. You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 11. You're enjoying this. 12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
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has 68.25 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: life
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 67.98 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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has 67.97 % from 638 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
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