The best jokes about life

If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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More jokes about: animal, fish, life
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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More jokes about: food, life
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
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More jokes about: doctor, hospital, life, tax
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will "let it go let it go".
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More jokes about: life, music
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
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More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
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More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
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More jokes about: life
Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do.
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More jokes about: celebrity, husband, life, music, priest
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT, life