The best jokes about life

Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
Vote: has 61.94 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, light bulb
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, music
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Vote: has 61.36 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life, work


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