The best jokes about life

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
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More jokes about: life, relationship, time, wife
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
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More jokes about: life, political, stupid
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be? Chocolate filled.
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More jokes about: celebrity, chocolate, food, life
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
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More jokes about: age, family, geography, life, money
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: ethnic, life
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
Vote: has 61.94 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, light bulb
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life


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