Los Angeles Homeless...
Homeless people here are different.
You ever notice that?
Our homeless people are serious, man.
They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Vote:
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Vote:
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot.
Everyone can catch cold.
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful?
It's mashing!
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.