The best jokes about life

What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will "let it go let it go".
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, music
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, mexican
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
A runaway man from prison that was sentenced for life, has stayed in for 25 years. While trying to find a place to hide, he enters a newlywed’s house, ties the man in a chair in a corner of the room and ties the woman in the bed. He climbs on the bed, on top of the woman and appears to be kissing her neck. Then he gets up and leaves the room. Immediately the husband drags his chair up to the bed and whispers to his wife: "My love, this man hasn’t seen a woman for many years. I saw him kissing your neck and rushing out. Just play nice with him and do as he asks you to. If he wants to have sex with you just agree and pretend that you like it. Whatever you do, don’t go against his will and upset him. Both our lives are at your hands right now, be strong and remember that I love you." As soon as the half naked woman recovers from the shock of what she just heard, she says: "Honey, I feel very relieved that you see it this way. You are right, this man has not seen a woman for years but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering to me. He said that he finds you very cute and asked me if we have Vaseline in the bathroom! Be strong and remember that I love you too!"
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, political
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life
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