The best jokes about life

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
Vote: has 61.23 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, life
We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, life
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, mexican
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, IT, life
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, relationship, time, wife
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political, stupid
Ignorance can be educated. Crazy can be medicated. But there is no cure for stupidity...
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel. Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide! Do you have the airfield in sight?" Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life