The best jokes about life

Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!..." Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw... brought both paws together... bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, atheist, christian, god, life
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, life
How many French men does it take to defend the city of Paris? Don't know...its never been done.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, life
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political, religious, time
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, phone, teen
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, life