What Liberals & Conservatives Generally Do In Certain Situations
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
Vote:
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing.
But I mean, 41 years, still alive.
I kinda got it.
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one.
Ok wait I got 66 problems.
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
Vote:
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car?
A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
Mary's father has 5 daughters,
1. Nana
2. Nono
3. Nini
4. Nene
What is the fifth daughters name?