Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.
Q: Wanna hear a joke?
A: Women's Rights.
'My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean.
Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef.
They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
Toilets are like mothers-in-law:
the farther away the better.
Vote:
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support.
I've got a wobbly coffee table.