The best jokes about life

They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, life
Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me." Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza? Little Seizures. What? To soon?
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life, music
When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, life
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
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