The best jokes about life

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, work
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, phone, teen
Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
Vote:
has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Vote:
has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
Vote:
has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, life, Yo mama
Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?" Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour." Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
I'm tired 8 days a week.
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life, time
<<<63646566
More jokes →
Page 63 of 82.