The best jokes about life

What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
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has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, work
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, music
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, phone, teen
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, life, money
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, Chuck Norris, life
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
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has 54.62 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
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