The best jokes about life

Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, love, math, nerd
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, life, Yo mama
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, game, life
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel, work
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