Why are we so sure that Eve was African?
If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple!
She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?"
If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town.
What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas.
They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately.
The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job.
Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert.
Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around.
Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Yell at her.
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
Vote:
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Toilets are like mothers-in-law:
the farther away the better.
Vote:
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car?
A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.