The best jokes about life

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
Vote: has 56.16 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, life, money
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, life
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
Vote: has 55.13 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, work
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, health, life, time
Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life


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