The best jokes about life

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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has 52.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, life
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, mother in law
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
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