The best jokes about life

What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
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has 56.42 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, republican
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, life, money
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious, time
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT, life, phone
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, life
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
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