Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Two muffins are sitting in an oven and one says to the other: "Man, it's hot in here!" The other one says: "Ah! A talking muffin!"
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!