The best jokes about life

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, life
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, death, life, time
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato? A: "You better catch up!"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why is it good to have a Jewish car? A: It can stop on a dime, and pick it up for you too!
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has 51.01 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
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