A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while."
The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.
When do cannibals cook you?
On Fried-days.
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office.
At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses.
At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed.
"I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers?
A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
Vote:
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Vote:
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.