Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Mary's father has 5 daughters, 1. Nana 2. Nono 3. Nini 4. Nene What is the fifth daughters name?
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?