The best jokes about life

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole? A: Divorced.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
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