The best jokes about life

They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
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