The best jokes about life

Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, math
There was no Big Bang. Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, life, wife
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT, life, phone
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