The best jokes about life

A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS." Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked. "I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman. The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand. "Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: life
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, sport
Poor Mac was having a bad time finding work. He was very overweight and it seemed to turn employers away. rnrnFinally, he found a job driving the tour bus on the Sesame Street studio. He was instructed to ask the names of the boarding passengers so he could personally address them as he gave the spoken tour while driving.rnrnIt was his first day. He sat patiently at the stop waiting for his passengers when he watched a huge fat lady waddle up to the bus. He asked her name as she boarded, and she responded Patty. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnHe was startled when and equally large fellow approached. Again, he asked the name and the response was Patty O'Brien with a thick Irish brogue. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnJust after the two Pattys had selected their seats, a shy looking small boy came up and asked if he could go. Sure son, come on in. What's your name? The boy responded Ross. It sounded like Ross might have some special problem but he seemed OK. rnrnThere were not many others around, so Mac was thinking he might not have anyone else join in. He was about to drive off when a creepy fellow came running up and asked to go along. Sure, come on in. We are about to go. What's your name? Lester was the response. Have a seat Lester. We are just about to go.rnrnAs he drove off to begin the tour, he glanced in the mirror to look at the passengers. Lester had removed his shoe and was picking at something on his foot. The vision made Big Mac laugh so hard he had to stop for a minute. rnrnHe was thinking who would believe this? Here I am with two big Pattys, a special Ross, and a creep named Lester picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, driving, life, travel, work
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
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has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, life
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
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has 53.93 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sex
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 53.88 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
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