The best jokes about life

Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life, mother in law
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny. Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke. A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish." After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer." The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared. The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, genie, life
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole? A: Divorced.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato? A: "You better catch up!"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
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