What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.
Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.