The best jokes about life

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, easter, life, Santa
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, Chuck Norris, life
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest. They start chatting and having a good time. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back. "You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life, priest, time
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
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