The best jokes about life

A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can't get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going UP. The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes? The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Lebron better than Jordan? Ha! Yea right. Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, sport
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.07 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Depends on how clumsy you are.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, game, life
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel, work
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: jewish, life, women
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
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has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, birthday, life, love, marriage
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
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