The best jokes about life

You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
Vote: has 35.20 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.
Vote: has 35.20 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
Vote: has 34.13 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
Vote: has 34.04 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: funeral, life, wedding
Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
Vote: has 33.28 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, travel
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
Vote: has 32.82 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
Vote: has 32.12 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life