The best jokes about life

Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, life
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life
There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest. They start chatting and having a good time. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back. "You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life, priest, time
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: life, math
Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, mexican
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