The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Vote:
A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
A: Cheez Whuz.
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny."
Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
I know when god becomes angry.
When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.
There’s one good thing about life.
It’s only temporary.
What has four legs but can't walk?
A chair.