There’s one good thing about life.
It’s only temporary.
What has four legs but can't walk?
A chair.
"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist.
And the cardiologist: "Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
I weighed myself today.
It is clear I am too small for my weight.
"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
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The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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