God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field.
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living.
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole? A: Divorced.