The best jokes about life

I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?"
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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What has a head, a tail, and no body? A coin!
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
Vote: has 35.20 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.
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I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
Vote: has 34.92 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: funeral, life, wedding
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
Vote: has 34.58 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
Vote: has 34.13 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
Vote: has 33.28 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, travel