Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Amazing unbelievable facts 1. Isaac Newton was alive before he died 2. It takes 60 seconds to make a minute 3. Albert Einstein was born on his birthday 4. Morgan Freeman is called Morgan Freeman because his first name is Morgan and last name is Freeman
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..