The best jokes about life

I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, life
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work
Q: What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white one? A: White one starts like "once upon a time" Black one starts like " y'all muthaf*ckas gotta here dis"
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has 45.26 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black people, life
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
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