The best jokes about life

A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
has 45.92 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: jewish, life, women
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, life
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
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