Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist. And the cardiologist: "Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
The fastest dialog in the world: (WC door is opening) Man inside: Heyyy! Man outside: Sorryyy!
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '