What has four legs but can't walk? A chair.
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
I weighed myself today. It is clear I am too small for my weight.