The best jokes about life

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Q: What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white one? A: White one starts like "once upon a time" Black one starts like " y'all muthaf*ckas gotta here dis"
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has 44.50 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black people, life
Life’s a bitch, and then you’re reincarnated.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: life, Yo mama
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