You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.