The best jokes about life

Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, life, men
Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
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has 43.42 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white one? A: White one starts like "once upon a time" Black one starts like " y'all muthaf*ckas gotta here dis"
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has 43.36 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black people, life
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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has 43.04 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, life
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: "Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
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has 42.09 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, music
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, technology
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