There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine." The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.
What has four legs but can't walk? A chair.
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?" The man says "I'm probably too honest." The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality." The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.