The best jokes about life

The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, life
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, life
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, Thanksgiving
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, music
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?" Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? A: Cheez Whuz.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Where are you going for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, stupid, Yo mama
There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
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