The best love jokes

Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
Vote: has 74.36 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, flirt, food, love
Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"
Vote: has 74.30 % from 498 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, sex, wife
My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 189 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, sex, wife
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote: has 73.80 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, relationship, single
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, love
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Vote: has 72.33 % from 156 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, men
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
Vote: has 72.15 % from 324 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, sex, time, wife, work
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: friendship, insulting, love, relationship, time


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