The best marriage jokes

This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married. They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible. The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy." She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
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has 52.96 % from 271 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
I fell in love with my wife at second sight. The first time I didn’t know she had money.
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has 52.80 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 52.77 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Wife: Because I married the wrong man!
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has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so." That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
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has 52.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, marriage
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My best friend ran away with my wife. It's only been three days and I really miss him.
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has 52.63 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. "To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free." The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
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has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me." Then the husband pats her butt and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without panties for me." The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little bigger, I wouldn't need your brother."
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has 52.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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