The best marriage jokes

"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
Vote: has 51.86 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
Vote: has 51.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Some strangers sit at the bar. One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG." Another guy asks, "What's that?" The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy." Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK." A lady asks, "What's that?" He says, "Double Income, No Kids." The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE." Larry asks, "A WIFE?" Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
Vote: has 51.81 % from 100 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
Vote: has 51.78 % from 176 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage
Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’ Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Vote: has 51.58 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, marriage
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Vote: has 51.28 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, marriage


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