The best marriage jokes

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Vote:
has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, wife
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Vote:
has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife
Some strangers sit at the bar. One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG." Another guy asks, "What's that?" The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy." Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK." A lady asks, "What's that?" He says, "Double Income, No Kids." The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE." Larry asks, "A WIFE?" Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
Vote:
has 51.81 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: marriage
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
Vote:
has 51.78 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
My husband and I couldn’t decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman. “If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,” I said, “what would you get?” “A bulletproof one,” he said. “I’m married.”
Vote:
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Vote:
has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Vote:
has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage
<<<41424344
More jokes →
Page 41 of 58.