The best marriage jokes

"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Two friends talking: "What's up?" "My wife left me for my best friend.." "I thought I was your best friend..." "Now he is."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, marriage, stupid
How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said "I don't wanna be obamaself."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: marriage, political, wedding
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating. The American husband asked, "how did you find out?" The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, marriage, money
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dating, family, food, marriage
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
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