The best marriage jokes

A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A couple come across a wishing well. The husband leans over, makes a wish and throws in a penny. The wife makes a wish too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well and drowns. The husband says, ‘Wow! It really works!’
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
I took two marriage vows. Silence and poverty.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Man to friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’ Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage. ‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her. ‘Then you should leave your husband.’ ‘I would,’ says Beryl. ‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What kind of rings do men need for marriage? Engagement Ring Wedding Ring Suffe-Ring Endu-Ring
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, women
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