The best marriage jokes

Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, marriage
An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!" His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, marriage, wife
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant. My name, living address, phone number...
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage
Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs. Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’ ‘No,’ replies his wife. ‘Have you?’
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Why is marriage a three-ring circus? First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’ Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’ Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
A married couple had gotten into an argument and for many days had not been talking to each other. Instead they were writing notes back and forth. One evening the husband walked up to the wife and handed her a note that said, “Wake me up tomorrow at 6 in the morning.” When he woke up the next morning it was 9. He immediately got angry with his wife and turned around to speak to her. On her pillow was a note that said, “Wake up, it’s 6!”
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage