Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A: Married.
Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it.
Why?
Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.
No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds.
One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around.
As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?"
She laughs and gets in his bed.
When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again.
Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."
A married couple go to a restaurant.
A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.
The man asks, "Where's the burger?"
The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit.
"I was keeping it warm," she replies.
The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
I took two marriage vows.
Silence and poverty.
Man to friend: ‘My wife’s a peach.’ Friend: ‘Because she’s so soft and juicy?’
Man: ‘No, because she has a heart of stone.’
A drunk is sitting on a park bench staring disconsolately at a bottle of beer.
A man passes and asks him what the matter is.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ says the drunk.
‘My heart says yes, my mind says no, and I haven’t heard from my liver in two days.’
Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage.
‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her.
‘Then you should leave your husband.’
‘I would,’ says Beryl.
‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’
What kind of rings do men need for marriage?
Engagement Ring
Wedding Ring
Suffe-Ring
Endu-Ring