The best marriage jokes

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A wife tells her husband: "We never go out anywhere…" "Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
"I hope you didn’t take it personally, Father," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the vicar replied. "It’s not a reflection on you, Father" insisted the church goer. "Christopher has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
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has 43.72 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: marriage
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man is on his deathbed. ‘Grant me one last wish, my dear,’ he gasps pitifully to his wife. ‘Six months after I die I want you to marry Joe.’ ‘But I thought you hated Joe,’ says his wife. ‘I do,’ says the man.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man comes home from work early to find his blonde wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!" The blonde whines, "What? No hello for me?"
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, money, sex, wife
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him." Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage
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