The best marriage jokes

Why is marriage a three-ring circus? First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A wife wanted an expensive fur coat from the executive husband to celebrate their Silver wedding anniversary. The miser overbearing rich husband rejected the expensive but affordable demand. He said, "You grow the hair on your chest and I will give you fur coat to cover it." The wife was out of control with anger. She pulls up her skirt, drops and throws her panties and pushes her hairy pubic area forward. She said, "There! I have the hair on my chest, now buy me that damn coat!" "That’s not your chest, that is your pussy!" husband screamed back. "Oh yes that is my chest all right" she yelled back. "While we were dating this was your chest of hope. We got married and on our honeymoon you used to tease me it was your chest of pleasure. Then I started bearing children and it became your chest of family, and damn it. If you don’t buy me that fur coat, it is going to be the community chest of public."
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, wedding, wife
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, women
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, work
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore: marriage is an institution for the blind.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage
An old man and his wife are having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, ‘When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!’ ‘I know,’ replies his wife. ‘But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.’
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant. My name, living address, phone number...
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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