A man comes home from work early to find his blonde wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!" The blonde whines, "What? No hello for me?"
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him." Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Three guys talk in a bar. Two discuss how they are king in their castles and how much their wives respect them. The third guy remains quiet. Finally, one guy turns to the quiet guy and asks, "What about you? Do you rule your roost?" The quiet guy says, "Well, just the other night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees." "What happened then?" they ask. "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’ Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
Why is marriage a three-ring circus? First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.