I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white? A nigger that’s masturbating himself!