Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet. Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white? A nigger that’s masturbating himself!