The best masturbation jokes

I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Vote: has 46.02 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, masturbation
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
Vote: has 45.10 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 36.23 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, masturbation
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Vote: has 35.00 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, masturbation, morbid
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Vote: has 30.77 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, masturbation, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
Vote: has 27.74 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: masturbation, Yo mama
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 25.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, masturbation
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
Vote: has 24.07 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white? A nigger that’s masturbating himself!
Vote: has 23.68 % from 146 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, masturbation, racist


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