This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man" So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet. Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.