Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Dan staggers into the shower.
He notices that his d**k is bright orange.
He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor.
After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?"
Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."
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How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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