Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.