# The best math jokes

Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of \$100,000, and you gave her \$50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? \$50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
Vote:
has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Vote:
has 46.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: bar, math
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Vote:
has 46.28 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Vote:
has 46.16 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, life, math
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 44.84 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
Vote:
has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
The teacher asks a student "If you have \$5 and billy takes \$3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
Vote:
has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Vote:
has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
Vote:
has 44.53 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
More jokes →
Page 14 of 18.