A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
Why was the math textbook so sad? He had a lot of problems!
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven? A:Because seven ate nine.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.