E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Why was the math textbook so sad? He had a lot of problems!
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."