E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.