A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven? A:Because seven ate nine.
A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help. Helium doesn't react.
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Why was the math textbook so sad? He had a lot of problems!
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?