The best mean jokes

My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, mean
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, game, golf, mean, time
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? A: 12 pirates.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: mean, pirate
"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Dear God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, mean
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: holiday, mean, office, technology, work
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