The best mean jokes

My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? A: 12 pirates.
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: mean, pirate
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 64.26 % from 325 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
"I'll never find the right guy," I heard the young guest at the wedding shower sigh. "Don't give up," urged an older woman. "Every pot has a lid." "Or," a cynical voice behind her offered, "you could just be a skillet."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, love, mean, wedding
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, mean, technology
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, game, golf, mean, time
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, office, work
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
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