The best mean jokes

When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: holiday, mean, office, technology, work
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, blonde, flirt, mean, wife
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote: has 60.15 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" "'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, redneck, vulgar, weather
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist. The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!" After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!" They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?" The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, mean, stupid, time
The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, computer, mean, technology, work
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?" And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed." "Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?" And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make." "And what is the name of this position?" "You know, imagine the missionary position."
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: friendship, marriage, mean, sex, stupid


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