My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? A: 12 pirates.
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
"I'll never find the right guy," I heard the young guest at the wedding shower sigh. "Don't give up," urged an older woman. "Every pot has a lid." "Or," a cynical voice behind her offered, "you could just be a skillet."
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.