The best mean jokes

I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, mean, women
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man. The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? " The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, marriage, mean, old people, time
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, old people
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mean, Yo mama
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, science, ugly, Yo mama
An Atheist dies in a car crash and wakes up in a big dark room with a sign above a single door: "Welcome to Hell!" "Shit! So the Shavelings were right after all!" the Atheist thinks, opens the door – and is stunned by the view! A marvelous beach! Crystal blue water, white sand, palm trees, the sun is shining and all around there are people laughing, having fun and listening to happy music or enjoying excellent food and drinks.rnLucifer, dressed in a Hawaiian Shirt, greets the Atheist, hands him a fantastic- looking cocktail and says cheerfully: "Hey! Welcome to Hell. Have a drink, have a snack. Take a look around and enjoy yourself! See you later!" Totally speechless at first, the Atheist finally starts to take a look around, is greeted everywhere, listens to people´s stories about their mortal lives and takes a stroll down the beach. After a few minutes into the walk, he starts hearing cries of pain, wailing, shouts, and screams and decides to follow that noises. Finally, the Atheist arrives at the rim of a big, black hole, takes a look down and is scared to the bone! Down there, the place is all fire, sulfur, brimstone! Rivers of lava, gnarled trees, and among it all the lost souls, being tormented forever by demons and devils. "Whoa! Take it easy!" Lucifer jumps right in to prevent the Atheist from falling into that pit and he stumbles backward, drops into the sand and stammers: "Wha... what the HELL is that place?" Lucifer looks down, shrugs and says: "Oh, that´s the Catholic´s department. They want it that way."
Vote: has 61.43 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: atheist, car, catholic, death, mean


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