The best mean jokes

Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, Yo mama
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, office, phone
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
An Atheist dies in a car crash and wakes up in a big dark room with a sign above a single door: "Welcome to Hell!" "Shit! So the Shavelings were right after all!" the Atheist thinks, opens the door – and is stunned by the view! A marvelous beach! Crystal blue water, white sand, palm trees, the sun is shining and all around there are people laughing, having fun and listening to happy music or enjoying excellent food and drinks.rnLucifer, dressed in a Hawaiian Shirt, greets the Atheist, hands him a fantastic- looking cocktail and says cheerfully: "Hey! Welcome to Hell. Have a drink, have a snack. Take a look around and enjoy yourself! See you later!" Totally speechless at first, the Atheist finally starts to take a look around, is greeted everywhere, listens to people´s stories about their mortal lives and takes a stroll down the beach. After a few minutes into the walk, he starts hearing cries of pain, wailing, shouts, and screams and decides to follow that noises. Finally, the Atheist arrives at the rim of a big, black hole, takes a look down and is scared to the bone! Down there, the place is all fire, sulfur, brimstone! Rivers of lava, gnarled trees, and among it all the lost souls, being tormented forever by demons and devils. "Whoa! Take it easy!" Lucifer jumps right in to prevent the Atheist from falling into that pit and he stumbles backward, drops into the sand and stammers: "Wha... what the HELL is that place?" Lucifer looks down, shrugs and says: "Oh, that´s the Catholic´s department. They want it that way."
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has 68.19 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: atheist, car, catholic, death, mean
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, office, work
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, mean
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 67.57 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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has 67.47 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
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