The best mean jokes

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle? A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.
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has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: insulting, mean
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, mean
Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: mean
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: mean
Q: VWhy didn't the fixed dog cross the road? A: Because he didn't have the balls to do it.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dog, mean
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