The best mean jokes

A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools". "OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: friendship, game, mean, school, time
"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Dear God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, mean
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, mean
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, mean, technology
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 64.35 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
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