When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right.
As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her.
"That's total bollocks" I replied.
By text, from across the road.
Vote:
A man has came over to his wife in a request.
She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants.
3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle?
A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?"
Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it."
-People
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.