Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game.
This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball".
So I adjusted my stance and took another swing.
Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball."
So I stepped back a little more and swung.
This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about!
The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones?
The punchlines are too long.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The location of the dirtbag.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?"
Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it."
-People
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position.
I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy.
He agreed with me.
I got upset that he agreed.
I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
Vote:
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.