I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? A: The location of the dirtbag.
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.