The best mean jokes

I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, game, golf, mean, time
Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, football, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, mean
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
Knock knock. Who's there? FBI. FB… We are asking the questions here!
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, cop, knock-knock, mean
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, time, work
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, mean
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, stupid, Yo mama
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
Vote: has 54.26 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, marriage, mean, party
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, mean, party


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