The best mean jokes

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, mean
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? A: The location of the dirtbag.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: insulting, mean
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but, wanting to make sure each bulb worked, she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up. "Great," she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed. "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, mean, technology
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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has 61.29 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
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has 61.20 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 60.20 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, mean
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