The best mean jokes

Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: holiday, mean, office, technology, work
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, mean, men
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, flirt, mean, wife
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist. The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!" After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!" They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?" The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, mean, stupid, time
The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, mean, technology, work
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean, science, ugly, Yo mama
A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?" And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed." "Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?" And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make." "And what is the name of this position?" "You know, imagine the missionary position."
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: friendship, marriage, mean, sex, stupid
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, mean, sport, time
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