The best mean jokes

Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, travel
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, mean
A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, mean, priest, vulgar, wine
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, money, technology, work
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, stupid, Yo mama
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