The best mean jokes

A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
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has 56.46 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, mean, party
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, sex
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?" And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed." "Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?" And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make." "And what is the name of this position?" "You know, imagine the missionary position."
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: friendship, marriage, mean, sex, stupid
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, ugly, Yo mama
The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, mean, technology, work
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history, mean, science
There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery. They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people: "who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!" Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt. Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground. Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?" The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: heaven, life, mean, money
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