The best mean jokes

I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery. They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people: "who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!" Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt. Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground. Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?" The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: heaven, life, mean, money
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke. Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here." Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here." Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
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has 53.63 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: customer service, mean, sex
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, Yo mama
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
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has 53.57 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, money, technology, work
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, mean, technology, work
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: family, food, mean, religious, vulgar
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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has 50.53 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
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