The best mean jokes

I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, travel
A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop, mean, priest, vulgar, wine
KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cat, food, mean
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
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has 52.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, god, mean
Knock knock. Who's there? FBI. FB… We are asking the questions here!
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, knock-knock, mean
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, mean, religious, vulgar
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