The best mean jokes

You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, ugly, Yo mama
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery. They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people: "who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!" Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt. Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground. Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?" The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: heaven, life, mean, money
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke. Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here." Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here." Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: customer service, mean, sex
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist. The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!" After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!" They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?" The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, mean, stupid, time
The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, computer, mean, technology, work
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote:
has 54.10 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cop, mean, priest, vulgar, wine
<<<18192021
More jokes →
Page 18 of 22.