One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.