The best mean jokes

A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?" And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed." "Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?" And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make." "And what is the name of this position?" "You know, imagine the missionary position."
has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: friendship, marriage, mean, sex, stupid
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
has 46.67 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: birthday, chocolate, food, kids, mean
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's Rights.
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, women
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: athlete, mean, sport
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, mean, men
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
has 41.13 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history, mean, science
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, mean
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, stupid, Yo mama
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