Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs? A: Because they have to!
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.
Q: What does a black person have that is white? A: His owner!
Did you know if you look in the mirror it's the biggest joke ever.
He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.