The best mean jokes

Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: mean, men, wife
Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, wine
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, mean, men, wife
When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
has 73.97 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, mean
French Army rifles for sale – never fired and only dropped once!
has 73.90 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, mean, military, war
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
has 73.60 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
has 73.50 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
has 73.31 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
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