The best jokes about men

If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sport
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, wife
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, hunting, men
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women