The best jokes about men

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, political, women
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sport
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hunting, men
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men