The best jokes about men

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised." Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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has 67.74 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 67.74 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
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has 67.65 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
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