The best jokes about men

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
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More jokes about: husband, men, wife
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
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Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised." Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
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Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sex
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Vote: has 67.53 % from 149 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: light bulb, men
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
Vote: has 67.10 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, health, husband, men


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